“June 1st - Take a boat or ferry to the nearest Island.”
…..Which explains why I am stranded here emailing this from the Calf of Man, waving my black and white PAINT THE KERBS checked bandana in the hope that someone will appreciate that my tin bath has sunk and I need to get to Gorse Lea when the Wednesday deluge has passed.
Lizzie also advises,
“June 2nd - Get lost in your favourite city,”
……. This may explain why hordes of people have been wandering around in a drunken state in Peel since the weekend.
Talking of confused, the Gorse Lea Knights of the Round Tea Bale could not envisage how John McGuinness must have reacted on Saturday when our hero, Roy Moore at Hamsey Rarepin, reported that John had been held up by a black marker. Fortunately it was not permanent.
Thanks in no small measure to the Jan Grainger Australian Flag and two toy koalas displayed on the Harold Leece Shelter, Cameron Donald has had three second places on the podium so far. He will win on Friday as we intend to display just one koala.
We solved numerous world crises as we stood for what seemed like weeks by the side of the new Subaru Factory Test Track, but many questions remain unanswered at the University of Short Planks, such as
• Do Subaru drivers understand minimum braking distances?
• If the Gorse Lea Pheasant made one of his spontaneous road-crossings, would the resulting collective noun be a Subarubarubarubarubarubarubarubarubarubarubu of VIPs?
• If it rains on the Electric Bikes will Michael Rutter take advantage of his short circuit experience? (As it happened he did and got £10,000 for his trouble).
Itinerant Marshal Steady Eddie from Ripon graced us with his notorious presence for a time on Monday and, fuelled by a scrumptious slice of orange, custard-filled sandwich cake (from Mrs Berrie's 5-Star Gold, Aaron House, Port St Mary establishment (appointed supplier of high-class gateaux and beverages to the Gorse Lea Marshals) entertained us with the parable of The Lost Multi-TT-Badged Cap (which, sadly, I will not recount here due to copyright restrictions).
Regrettably my vacuum flask has on several occasions this TT been the innocent victim of unprovoked attacks in which the cup, or even the whole flask, has been dropped on the concrete at the shelter. This goes much deeper than simple, common thermos-desire. The perpetrator of these outrages (whose name, Reg, cannot be revealed due to data protection) has been diagnosed as suffering from a rare condition known as flaskophobia and will be booked in for suitable treatment after the conclusion of Friday’s race programme.
The graceful gaggle of grazing grey Gorse Lea Geese has sometimes been seen soaring serenely skywards from the steamy swamps and sheughs south of the shelter. During a short one week break in racing on Monday, Marshal Phil and I braved the quagmire in a quest to have a gander at the goosey population. Here we happened upon two hares - fine specimens in fine form, and on the very day that Stephen Cargo’s Carrickfergus Crew, Chris and Callum Hare swelled the orangery of marshals at Gorse Lea. The Hares, as you’ll have anticipated, were here today and will be gone tomorrow.
During road and fading-kerb checks we have observed that:
The Boys at Ballagarraghyn have a bigger, better brush
But bigger isn’t better on the TT in a rush.
The sweeper at our shelter handles cornering at speed
Indubitably proving we have just the broom we need.
Gorse Lea Marshals – Always up to scratch!