The 1st report of 2008 was delayed as I have been recovering from slapped wrists for not posting an account, promised last year, of how a couple of the team tripped over the language barrier and narrowly avoided causing an international incident.

(Disclaimer - ACU Events Ltd can in no way be held responsible for the incident reported below. The area concerned has now been aerially photographed, taped off and additional signage has been erected – so you can’t blame us for nuffink, Matey!)

2007 Footnote:
The day started well at Gorse Lea. The troop arrived early and dealt with all the routine tasks and administration. They made sure that the hundreds of spectators were safely tucked up on Harold’s bank in warm, sunny conditions. The roads-closed announcement was heard over the Tetra, so the first coffee of the morning was poured as the team leaned on the meditational bale to appreciate the birdsong.

Suddenly the peace was shattered. Phil had spotted movement in the undergrowth just a few metres (yes, we’ve mostly gone metric at Gorse Lea) from the post and had (politely) requested the curtilage encroacher to retrace his steps. Contrary to Phil’s request, the leafy disturbance was unrelenting and a telephoto lens emerged from the bushes. Phil made further polite and reasonable requests in the direction of the photo-sniper. In response, a leather-clad arm appeared, supporting a large hand clearly gesturing a victory sign.

Phil was unmistakably not amused by this signal. With lightning reaction and speed (witnessed only once previously when a malicious barmaid put lime in his lager in Bosham, West Sussex on August 29th, 2005) he placed his cup on the bale and took the fast route down the bank into the field (fell) closely followed by RR Berrie DSM. The gallant pair brushed themselves down, extracted a few thorns from sensitive areas behind the Harold Leece Shelter, then strode forward together to fend off the invader.

Within seconds the soles of a pair of strong boots were discovered, protruding from the luxuriant undergrowth. Phil addressed the soles in assorted, influential phrases, but there was still no sign of withdrawal from the occupant of the large boots. By this time DSM Berrie was becoming uncharacteristically impatient, and chose to grip the boots lightly but persuasively. Immediately, a large, leather-clad body slipped gently out of the hedge and down the bank into the field.

The bewildered figure struggled to his feet, pointing to his camera, and in broken English made the following memorable statement,
“Oh Mein Gott! I not understand Englisch!
I say, gib mir 2 minuten to take photograph!”


Gorse Lea Marshals – Always Up To Scratch.

We expect every man to do his duty, and give us a full report after this evening's practice.These mainland excursions will not be tolerated and no doubt the Witch could foresee James McBride's incident,so you escaped,just to save some brushwork.The midges will make you pay,so be prepared