Ian, you have surpassed even yourself, and I will spend the evening perusing the questions and thinking of suitable dittys.
Of course, the ACU will be delighted to sponsor it...you will have to make a few modifictaions and there will be a licence fee, a huge copyright fee, and the lead part will be played on alternate nights by JP and EN.
Is there a cameo part for Ade?...Hilary?... Wade?????