here's a couple for you

This sandwich walks into a bar, the barman says

'sorry we don't serve food'

my favorite though is :-

This irish man, I think it might have been Cargo, finds two slices of bread with some wires hanging out, placed just outside his garage, ok hut. So he phones the bomb squad and says 'I think I have found this bomb outside my garage disgised as a sandwich'

The bloke at the bomb squad says 'is it tickin'

Cargo says 'no I think its beef'