SENSATION! Analysis of the gooey gunk in the bottom paddock has revealed that it is not indeed, MUD, but the remains of a gargantuan SCONE.
Interpol are now seeking the saboteur who caused this mayhem.
A brief description cites two men (well... they think they are men) one in trendy long shorts, and the other wearing a rather distinctive hat. They may exude an odour of fresh cream and jam.
DO NOT APPROACH THESE PEOPLE. THEY MAY BE CARRYING SCONES.