MARSHAL LORE

This Terrestrial Paradise
Flowers bloom in this terrestrial paradise, all beautiful and verdant with waving trees; singing birds enchant the ear; the Gorse Lea Pigeon soothes with its soft note; the crested lark sends up its song toward heaven, and the grave and stately heron inspires the mind with thought, and leads it on to meditation and repose. Life here was once idyllic, charming; here were once no rich, no poor, no high, and no low. It was a world of ease, simplicity, and beauty.

Alas
As the roads closed and Saturday Evening Practice was delayed, Gorse Lea, gateway to the Wild West, became a scene of desolation and misery as the marauding massed millions of murderous masochistic midges attacked relentlessly. Capacity crowds of victims had gathered to watch the racers, encouraged by the promise of a phabulous sighting of the Phamous Pheasant Phly Past provisionally scheduled for 19.21 hours.

It’s Brit, Vic, but not as we know it.
As reported on several forums, The Phamous Gorse Lea Pheasant has been putting in appearances in the Gorse Lea area, but has been avoiding the crowds. Footage of a couple of his starring roles is available here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5toot18NGA

http://www.funnyordie.co.uk/videos/376ba...rench-phea

The Team
As ever, The Team, under the guidance of Reginald Robert Berrie, DSM, was early on station at the Harold Leece Shelter. The first action was to apply liberal quantities of the proven, maximum-midge-resistance formula (Code name SSS) before manoeuvring the 4 large, round bales into position. Fire extinguishers, shovels, brooms, dust-buckets, stretchers, first-aid kits, radios, etc, were checked and placed at the ready. The plank, generously sponsored by Earl O’Neill of Tyrone, has survived the winter and provides a positive extension to the viewing platform.

EGOG
On close inspection of the Course RR Berrie DSM alerted us to the presence of a stationary foreign body placed equidistant between the faded grey kerbs on Glea Bend. On closer inspection it was identified as a very dead and flat EGOG. The EGOG was removed ceremoniously via shovel to a final resting place in the hedge.

Greeba – You’re Welcome to it!
The new “Welcome to Greeba Sign” (which replaced the previous new “Welcome to Greeba” sign which was erected twice in 2008) had thoughtfully been removed from our shin-zone by the D.O.Whatever-it-says-on-the-trucks-this-time. It was noted that the position of the new sign represents a loss of some 20 to 30 yards of grass verge to St John’s, and a loss of another few hundred pounds to irratepayers. It is believed that the Greeba Coalition Government attempted a land grab from St John’s when they placed the previous sign, and that their plot was uncovered by John Kennaugh on one of his reconnoitring missions at Knock Breck. A diplomat from Public Rights Of Way Langness has been out to ensure that the sign does not obstruct a view through Jeremy Clarkson’s kitchen window.

Cordon Bleu
House of Holland continues to provide a scrumptious range of savouries for the GLea Men and Mrs Berrie's multiple-award-winning Aaron House, Port St Mary, establishment (appointed supplier of high-class gateaux and beverages to Gorse Lea Marshals) has already surpassed previous exceptional standards with a sensational vanilla slice which was awarded full marks by all the crew. However, the superb fruit cake may not have been the wisest choice on an evening when the midges were out in force.

Practice Report
Some speeding motorcycles went past.


Gorse Lea Marshals – Always Up To Scratch.