Set your imagination for the year 2000, it used to say, but we'll set ours for 2008. All the riders will carry GPS transponders that will signal their exact speed, location and race position to their crew and the commentators, continuously. The Boy Scouts' board will be replaced by a big screen depiction of the course with all the riders' positions on the road and corrected at all times. Following the race will be quite easy!

Then I'll zoom home on my atomic powered hover-jet, into the arms of the digitally-enhanced main squeeze. I'm getting carried away.