I was bored - sorry


The 2062 Isle of Man TT races. I can just see it now. No more rain, no more fog, and a balmy 25 degrees centigrade all day and all night, due to the climate control.
In this year's races, as we have seen for the last thirty years or so we have the 4 main classes for the two day November festival. The Ultra Lightweight class for the tiddler 3 volt machines, the Lightweight class for the smaller Grand Prix type 6 volt bikes, the Supersport machines, running at a heady 9 volts and the Premier Superbike class, the amazing 500 kilogram 12 volt machines.
The Harold Coppock and Paul Bird Foundation [how cryptic is that?] Senior race on the Friday afternoon was to be called off after a course inspection by John McGuinness the Third, Steve Plater the Third and Richard [Milky] Quayle the Third. This was after several Manx youths were seen spitting onto the tarmac, thereby severely limiting road adhesion, at the bottom of Bray Hill, outside the Creg ny Baa Towerblock and most importantly opposite the Colin [F.C.] Moore Memorial Building and statue in Parliament Square, Ramsey. After consultation with several of the top riders and a milk float manufacturer representative, the decision was taken to race, albeit 8 hours late. The race was shortened to just a single lap, due to failing lights.
In the winner's enclosure a jubilant Viggo Watts [42] of Battersea said that although he was still in shock, he'd like to thank all his mechanics, his current personal sponsors and of course his bike, the Tessler Torchy 2062, after it charged through the field from fifth and dead last on the grid to win in an amazing 16 minutes. Watts' celebrations were not demeaned at all by the fact he was the only finisher, the other 4 riders becoming static early in the race. Roll on 2063!